I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize