butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
