You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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