laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
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