you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
