We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
