Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
