Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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