A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
