Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Randomize
