too bad you live with your parents still
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
