Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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