Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
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