everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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