he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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