Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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