i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize