Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
