We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
