I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I think we might need a safe word for this...
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
