Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
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