but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
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