yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
