Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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