I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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