I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i would punch a child for taco bell
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
