i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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