If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Randomize
