I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
