I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize