well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize