found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Randomize
