Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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