you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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