we're chasing vodka with high fives
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
