Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
