Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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