Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
