I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
