I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
