Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Green mimosas i think yes
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
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