i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
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