Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
