wakey wakey hands off snakey
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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