so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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