i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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