Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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