I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
