The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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