found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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