I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
