that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
