Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
and you fell through a lawn chair
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
