wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize