Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
