the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Still dying that you shit outside
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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