I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I've blown a few things in my day
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
We don't watch enough power rangers
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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