At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
