Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
