I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
