He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
