i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
