I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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