he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Randomize
