I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
