You can't motorboat a personality
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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